Adulting

Assalamualaikum.

Hello. Its day 5 in Malaysia. I am now sipping my Wonda Coffee and just ate a tasty roti telur. Having breakfast alone make me realize how i have grown into a mature (& lonely) young lady. But its okay. I'm totally fine with it. Gotta get used to the loneliness. So yeah. The story... 

This morning I sent Imani off for her UPSR. Hug and gave her kisses when she walked in line to enter the hall. It was scary 😭 i was so scared for her. Yeah sure, I faced this like 9 years ago. When I was 12. As a student. But the fear is different this time. 

I look at other parents who were waiting for their beloved child. They had this hopeful yet scarred look in their face. Some of them even shed tears that running on their cheeks. Idk what to feel. But all i know is, I really hope Imani in a good shape. Calm and okay? Yeap hopefully.

So after she went to the hall, i go to surau to read yaasin with other parents. It was okay. The imaam (also on of the parent) said something that hits me hard. It goes like this.. (in my own words bcoz I forgot how he said it)

"Anak anak ni. Macamana pun keputusan dia, takpe. Kalau cemerlang, Alhamdulillah.  Kalau tak cemerlang pun Alhamdulillah. Kadang-kadang kejayaan anak ni.. boleh jadi berkat untuk kita. Boleh jugak jadi bala dan ujian untuk kita"

I'm like bala? How la..

"Bila anak dah berjaya. Semua keluar dari rumah. Tinggalkan kita. Takde nak berbakti pada kita. Anak anak yang dapat keputusan yang biasa biasa ni la yang jaga kita nanti.." 

Hmm. Speechless. Because I think its kinda true. Astaghfirullah hal azim.  Idk. I just hope that I will turn into an adult that berbakti to my parent. In my case.. Ayah. Because he is all I have left. 😭  

I hope me and adik adik jadi anak soleh solehah despite anything that will happen in the future.  I hope we turn into good people with good attitude because that is what ibu would want too.  

O Allah, make it easy for us to face any hardship in our way. Please make it easy for us and keep us strong.  Amin