Lately ive been strikes with so many insecurities. Whether it is about my skin, personality or academic. It comes like a wave. I feel like i am not good enough. I rarely compare myself to others but this time, i did. I feel downgraded. Funnily enough, i am the one who did that. Ive always think that i am pretty. Not gorgeous but i would say, an okay. Cute. Maybe? Ive always confident in my appearance. My flawed skin. My tanned complexion. It never bothered me all this time but now. Ive got this tiny bumps on my forehead, and big acne that leaves a scar on my face. Its agitating 😂 and i am a mess to have a strict skincare routine. So the problems kinda continue to happen. Academic wise, i know i am not as smart as i used to be. 😅 and i am slowly accepting it. But lately ive got this super anxious feeling. Major breakdown... comparing how stupid i am than anyone else. And annoyingly i didnt set up a study plan to tackle this problem. It feels like im losing hope. I saw my pictures in
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Assalammualaikum. (= uiiihh lama gila tak menaip camni. Lama gila tak rasa feeling ni. Tetiba rajin pulak waktu sivik ni. So nak update gosip terlatest ni haa. before that haiiiii sumorang! pekabo? Ain baru je habis trial. results? jangan tanya. belum dapat semua lagi but, dah terang lagi bersuluh ah menghala ke mana. iykwim. Tapi takpe sebab omputih kata, every failure is a step towards success. katanya laah.. Tapi kalau dah tiap kali gagal kau ulang kesilapan yang sama tak jadi apa gak kan? duduk je ah kat takuk yang lama. So, jom ah kita ye budak-budak SPM. Lagi 68 hari je tinggal. InsyaAllah sempat. Walaupun result yang lain sume macam negative, result yang satu ni tetiba sesat positive! Cer teka result apa??? PLKN babeh! Ye budak cengeng ni dapat PLKN! Ahahahahaha tak tahu nak react macamana. Happy je sebenarnya sebab rasa excited nak cuba benda baru, timba pengalaman baru! bukan semua orang bertuah macam aku wei. So bersyukur lah kan? Mesti ada hikmah a
I choose not to write anything emotional on this entry cause mayn... life is tiring and being emotional is what i do like 24/7. I choose to bottle up the sadness and problems inside hoping that someday it will go away. I choose to stop writing at this 3rd pargraph because i'm afraid if I continue .. all the fckery things that happened will spill on this white blank screen. I choose to befriend the rubber band again cause I think, I need it.